Your friends are desperate & single too.
I think this might hurt a few feelings but it has to be said. If you want the relationship of your dreams you need to be around people who know how to be in relationships. Your always single hoe friend is fun for shenanigans and meeting Mr. Right Now but you’ll be hard pressed to find the type of men you really want because clearly she doesn’t attract them and she is clearly hell bent on having fun with the wrong guys.
Conversely, she can’t introduce you to her man’s friends because she ain’t got no man. You see how that work? It’s like both are y’all are circling the drain to nowhere if y’all don’t have the same strategy when it comes to men. I also feel like if you and your friend have different values when it comes to relationships she is probably not gonna be the wing woman you want to take when you are wanting to meet ideal suitors for yourself.
Now I want to talk about hater “friends” with friends in quotes because these women aren’t your friends. They are your competition or they see YOU as their competition and they need to neutralize your self esteem with doubt. These “friends” like to question you about why you doing things you want to do and know you can achieve.
Why are you going for him?
Why you wearing that?
OR:
Passive aggressively giving you compliments like,
“I love how confident you are wearing that”
Avoid “friends” like this, they don’t want to see you doing better than them. They prefer you without a man, struggling, stressed out like them. Even worse they like to see you being less than them so they actively support you being in those positions and will posture like they “care for you”
Actually you will find many women in your family like this too…….
Comments
Konnie
Great article with ‘real talk’ facts! Thank you for writing this.
Daniesha Johnson
I enjoyed reading this!
Marita
I’m glad you enjoyed it Daniesha! Be sure to sign up for updates!
Nonkululeko
One of the best articles I have read in a long time. I am truly in awe at such a sound, and articulate piece you have decided to share. I have decided to work fully on myself. Self love is a full time job ,from now on I will work on things people can’t take away from me, that is my character and personality.
Marita
I’m am happy it resonated! I truly believe it starts with getting clear on what you want and not compromising our big picture. I recommend snagging a few of the books I mentioned to help you on your journey!
Taylor
Look #4 hurt me to the core and I’ve been sitting on this one for awhile. I’ve always been okay with most of my close friend group being single (and the ones that aren’t being with men that don’t fit my personal standards) but as I’ve gotten older, I now understand how harmful that is to me and my journey. I like your book recommendations but how would you recommend finding/expanding to more like-minded friend groups as an adult?
Marita
It happens and a lot of times we don’t think about it. But it’s true, just like with most things, if you want something for yourself you need to get around people who have what you want. Surround yourself with likeminded people or people that can help you attract what you want. I’m not sure if there is a book that you need to read to know that you may want to expand your network of friends.
Taylor
My question is how do I expand my network to gain like-minded close friendships? I’ve found as an adult it gets harder to do.
Susanna Willetts
immaculate article
recep ivedik
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